Almost Loosing Everything
by Eternal White Rose
Summary: 'He must have been so afraid...he thought for only a moment...that he had lost everything...he must have been so afraid...' A little scenario happening after the failed transmutation leaves Al thinking differently about his future ahead.


**A few words before I start this.**

**I have a new member of Vocamists, his name is Adam, he's an Ed roleplayer on facebook. I met him at a convention, and in all truth, he was the one that came up with this one-shot's idea, so it was a first time thing taking an idea and creating a whole outline of it.**

**This takes place shortly after the Human Transmutation, when Ed's in rehab/rest before obtaining his limbs. Adam said he had done a little research and said that he wanted Ed to act like the way he did towards the ending.**

**Disclaimer: Hiromu Arakawa-sensei did an _amazing _job with writing FMA. I am just a mere fan to took the idea of her friend and wrote it down.**

**Notes: Anything in _italics _in the middle is Al's point of view.**

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><p><em>At first, an egg was so hard to hold in my hand.<em>

_Because on that fateful day my brother had lost his arm and leg, and I was turned into scraps of metal._

_Even though he could never see my smile, he called my name as if trying to make me smile.. It was like a dream._

Reaching out for the leather hand of Alphonse's, Edward mumbled, "Al..."

_One day, I decided to get a wheelchair ready for him._

As Alphonse pushed the wheelchair around, Edward remained silent as he clenched onto his right side; the area where his shoulder _used _to be, and just stared ahead with the blank eyes he had worn since the dreadful night. Alphonse looked up. "Nii-san, are you cold?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I can't really tell."

"No, it's not cold," his older brother replied. "It's not cold..."

Alphonse stared at the older boy, wishing that he could show emotions instead of imagining them in his head. Noticing that Edward was clutching fairly hard on his wound, he said, "Don't do that. It's not good for your wounds."

But Edward didn't listen. As long as his left hand remained on the spot where the bandages lay hidden underneath the sleeve of the shirt, he would remember. He would remember that night when he almost lost everything he cared for...

* * *

><p>"Nii-san, it's time to get some sleep," Alphonse told him.<p>

"I don't feel like sleeping," Edward replied quietly.

_He didn't want to sleep...because I couldn't..._

"You can't stay up," Alphonse challenged back. "Here," he held out his arms, "I'll carry you to bed."

"_No_!" Edward demanded. "I'm fine."

_Nii-san would still resist...even as sleep crept over him._

As Alphonse stared out the window, he though, _Maybe I shouldn't have asked for the wheelchair. _But even as he thought that, he knew that it somehow helped his hurt brother.

_It's hard to know how lonely the night can really get...at least when you're asleep..._

_And I know that Nii-san was really trying to share my suffering even without a purpose._

_But..._

_His cheeks, they were so pale that they looked blue...it seemed like he was actually waiting to die._

_And then I thought..._

_It would probably be best if I weren't around._

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><p>As Pinako walked out of Edward's room, she grimaced at the tray of food she held in her hands. The tray looked like it was ignored. "I knew it," she began sadly, "He didn't even touch it."<p>

Winry ran up to her grandmother. "Granny..."

Staring intensly at the tray, Pinako told Winry, "If we don't do something, he's going to die."

In the room, Alphosne was staring at his brother. "Nii-san, please!" he begged, hearing earlier that Edward might die if they didn't do anything.

"Why?" Edward's voice was so low, so raspy, like he was about to break.

"Huh?"

"Why am I...alive?" He seemed to be talking to himself, like he forgot that his little brother was standing right next to him. "I said I didn't need to live...I said that I didn't need anything." Tears stung in the corner of Edward's eyes. "So why am I alive? They should give everything to you..."

Alphonse placed a hand on the armrest of the wheelchair. "Nii-san..."

"I'm sorry," Edward said, placing a hand on top of the armors'. "Al, I'm so sorry..." Holding the leather hand close, Edward let his tears spill down his fatigued cheeks. "Sorry..."

Edward slowly fell forward, his eyes closed and his breathing slowed. But his eyes flew open when Alphonse put his hand on his other shoulder, the metal of his wrist piercing into Edward's skin...

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><p>As Edward sat in his small hospital bed, blood oozed from the wound on his shoulder. Pinako stared at it, and mentally recorded that the skin was badly damaged, and that she had a foggy idea as to what really happened. But before she could say anything, Edward spoke up, "I did it." Pinako looked at him breifly. "I did it to myself. I just kinda...fell is all."<p>

Pinako raised an eyebrow at the blond. "It was Al, wasn't it?" she questioned, cleaning off a small knife to waste time. "There's no need to hide it."

"No, it wasn't!" Edward defended his brother, even though he knew that Alphonse was the one who accidentally wounded him. He couldn't admit to it, though. He didn't want his younger brother to suffer anymore guilt.

"It' not his fault, we all know that," Pinako explained, looking at the broken boy worriedly.

"No, it's not that!"

"Ed, you've got to see that..."

"It was...me!"

_At this rate, Granny said that Nii-san wasn't going to be able to move anytime soon..._

Pinako sighed, and hooked up another morphine bag. "You need to accept the truth. No matter how painful, Ed."

Winry was on her way to the room, when she was stopped by Alphonse's echoing voice, "Winry."

"Al," she responded, turning around to face his large body.

"I was the one...the one who...Nii-san..." He couldn't find the words, so his sentence came out completely jumbled up.

"Don't worry about it," Winry assured him. "We'll treat the wound quickly." And she walked away, leaving Alphonse to just stand there and think about what he had done.

_With my hands...I hurt my own brother..._

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><p>A few hours later, Pinako emerged from Edward's room to find the younger Elric sitting against the wall. "Al," she called.<p>

"How's Nii-san?" Alphonse asked, not picking his head up from the safety of his lap.

Pinako sighed. "Don't just sit there, go to Ed. He's sleeping and calling your name."

But the armor didn't move. "It's so wrong. The injury. I did that to him. I was the one who hurt him..."

Pinako didn't move either. _I wish I could tell them to move on, _she thought. _But it seems too cruel to even begin to say it..._

In his sleep, just as Pinako had said, Edward was quietly muttering his brother's name every so often, with a peaceful look on his face.

_To me, it seemed like the end of one night was the beginning of another. The world was like an endless void of darkness..._

_Especially to someone who can't have the feeling of touching his loved ones._

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><p>As Edward opened his eyes to greet the sun the following morning, he groaned, and felt the small bandage located under his neck on the left side of his chest. He gasped, and called out, "Al?" Turning his head, his eyes widened when he noticed that Alphonse wasn't in his usual spot whenever the blond woke up.<p>

Instead, Alphonse was outside, petting Den, and thinking, _The medicine must be working like magic...but is Nii-san really okay? He's been asleep for three days..._

"_ALPHONSE!"_

Edward's scream echoed throught the field and it caused Alphonse to stand up, his armor clanking."Nii-san?"

Winry barged through the front porch, her eyes showing pure terror, "Al, quick! Ed's...!"

"_AL!"_

As they ran through the house, Alphonse barely managed to get the entire situation told by Winry. "I get that he's awake..."

"_AL!"_

"But why is he screaming?"

_"AL!"_

"It's because when he woke up you weren't there!"

_"AL!"_

Alphonse slowed down. "Huh?"

"_AL!"_

The younger Elric stopped in his tracks. "Just because of that...?"

"_AL!"_

"The whole time," Winry continued. "He was calling your name."

"_AL!"_

"Even in his sleep!"

"_ALPHONSE!"_

Alphonse stared at Pinako and Edward. His brother, despite only having two limbs, had managed to crawl into the hallway, with tears streaming from his eyes like there was no end to them. And he was still screaming for Alphonse, his voice cracking and breaking.

"_AL!"_

"Nii-san..." Alphonse ran up to his brother, crouching down in front of him.

"Al, where have you been?" Pinako scolded the young boy.

"I just..." he couldn't think of a reliable excuse.

"His wounds haven't even fully healed! This was potentially dangerous for him!" Winry cried

"Al...?" Edward ignored their conversation, reaching a hand out to touch the breastplate of the armor, making sure it was really there. He balanced himself on one knee and wrapped his left arm around the armor's torso as far as he could. "Alphonse, I thought you left me after what happened..." he sobbed into the metal chest. "I thought I had lost you for good..."

_He must have been so afraid...he thought for only a moment...that he had lost everything...he must have been so afraid..._

"His wound's reopened," Pinako said, grabbing Alphonse's attention as he looked at his leather hands.

"Al..." Edward muttered again. Alphonse proceeded to wrap his arms around his brother, as Edward cried into the cold, hard, metal chest of the armor.

_But I know that I'll be the one to protect him the things get really bad..._

_Even when we're in the deepest and darkest hole, a place where sunlight might never reach us...if we contnue to seach and climb, we might actually reach the surface, and even if we don't notice at first, time will heal all wounds._

_Just like how I was saved by your voice...you can be saved by my embrace..._

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><p><strong>When I first wrote this, right in the middle, but towards the end, when Ed is screaming for Al, I broke down too. Because I was kinda seeing what was really going on...<strong>

**For those of you who want to know why Ed was acting like that at the end, think about it. You lose your father, your mother. You _almost _lose your brother. And one morning when you wake up (especially after being dosed with drugs to help you) you find him missing. Wouldn't you feel a little scared too?**

**And tell me if you guys want a second one-shot to continue this one, like the brother's looking back at this or something like that. Adam's gonna get his thinking cap on!**

**ArAndArForAdam'sIdeaButAlsoForKonekoChan'sWriting?**


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